julytwentynine:

queerard:

always remember that you are never alone

because you have tiny microscopic organisms living in your eyelashes

Oh hell no, I only just forgot about that.

the-sherlockian-potterhead-23:

djavjr:

smileyfacewinkwink:

One of my favorite scenes from The Great Gatsby (1949)

special effects just ain’t what they used to be

I just spat water everywhere.

the-sherlockian-potterhead-23:

djavjr:

smileyfacewinkwink:

One of my favorite scenes from The Great Gatsby (1949)

special effects just ain’t what they used to be

I just spat water everywhere.

hoodratzayn:

i believe in hate at first sight

theyre:

Make fun of your baby for shitting itself

theuppityzombie:

leviathans-in-the-tardis:

draconisblog:

tumbledore-:

The best super power ever has to be the power to refill things. Think about it, your glass is empty, refill it without getting up. Your bank account empty, power to refill it. Your bed is empty of a person of your preferred gender, refill it and have some fun.

At first I was all:

Well that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard.

But then I was all like:

GENIUS! PURE UNADULTERATED GENIUS!

person annoying you?

refill their bladder

image

snake-dad:

we’ll we’ll we’ll if it isn’t autocorrect

landorus:

cashier: that’ll be $4.20

me: bruh

cashier: bruh

wartortles:

*holding phone in hand* where the fuck is my phone

popularboyfriend:

guy:

guy:

how do u transform regular water into holy water

u boil the HELL out of it

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